Our First Dance.

We finally chose the song for our first dance. 
We chose a song that I had heard before it was even hit the radio.
It has since become rather popular but that hasn't deterred our decision.
The first time I heard this song, I was listening to Pandora in the car.
I was driving along and thinking about wedding details, all the things that need to get done.
I was feeling a little overwhelmed and the cold feet feeling started to come over me.
Every now and then, I feel this overwhelming feeling.
I don't know what it is but it's kind of like anxiety hitting me, forcing me to take note of the whirlwind of events circling around me in such a short amount of time.

Then the melody started.
I just listened and as the song went on, I felt heavy tears fall.
It reminded me of Ty...of when we first met. And how important he is to me and how lucky I am.
It reassured me even more when Ty told me he felt the same about the song.


The song was "Stay" by Rihanna.
This song has a lot of conflict as to what it is really about. Some people think it's a song about breaking up or a tumultuous relationship, others think it's a ballad from Rihanna to Chris Brown.
I think that the key to a great song is to make it relatable. 
A song that everyone can mold to fit their life or something they went through.
This song does just that.

I know that some people probably won't understand why we chose this song.
I asked Ty his thoughts on it and he told me this, "This song reminds me of us. I don't care what other people think, I care about you and our love and how we feel."
To us, this song speaks differently. It is a song about two people who are in love, but have other issues in their lives that are tugging them in different directions.

It brings me back to when I first met Ty......

Here is our meaning of "Stay".




Stay


All along it was a fever
A cold sweat, hot headed believer
I threw my hands in the air I said show me something
He said, if you dare come a little closer

(This first part reminds me of the previous relationship I was in. It was a fever, a cold sweat, things were constantly up and down, hot then cold. I was lost and that was when Ty came into the picture. Skeptical of him, I said the same thing, Show me something. And Ty, in different words,  repeated what Micky Echo sang, if you dare come a little closer...)


Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now tell me, now tell me, now tell me now you know

Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay

(This section makes me think of what I would say to Ty back in those first moments. I wasn't sure how to feel about him. I was coming out of a 10 year relationship, I was scared, unsure and I didn't know whether to trust him or run away. But something about Ty made me want him to stay. He was different than anything I had ever known. )


It's not much of a life you're living
It's not just something you take, it's given
Round and around, and around, and around we go
Oh now tell me, now tell me, now tell me, now you know

(This part that Micky Echo sings is like Ty speaking to me. It wasn't much of a life I was living, in such turmoil all the time. It was not much of a life at all. All those years I had been trying to take love. Ty showed me that you can't just take love, love is given. He didn't want us be some short-lived fling, he wanted to be sure that I wanted him as much as he wanted me. He wanted me to tell him that I knew for sure.)


Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay

Oh the reason I hold on
Oh 'cause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
'Cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving

(This part of the song makes me teary every time I hear it. It's the most meaningful to me. The reason I held onto anything at that time in my life.... was because I desperately needed the hole inside of me gone. I was fading. A lot of people don't know how low I had really fallen at that point in my life. It was funny because I thought I was the only one who needed saving but in fact, Ty needed someone just as much as I did. In essence, we helped each other in a lot of ways. )


Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay, stay
I want you to stay, oh