A Change Stirring In Me.

The days have all been colliding into one….

Sometimes I'm not sure what day it is. I get up and play out the same routine most every weekday. Almost a year ago I chose to go back to work full-time and I don't regret it. It was exactly what I needed at that time. I've learned a lot in my new position and also learned how to multi-task home life with working. I do however, miss time. And as the days start overlapping into one big blur, I can only think about all the fun things that Scarlett and I used to do before I began working. I miss those days.

Scarlett is a big girl. She is fully potty-trained now and her sentences and imagination are as wild as ever. She is growing out of toddler and into girl….And yes, I'm sad about that. Not because she isn't a baby anymore, I knew that would happen. But because I miss her little moments. The little moments that I used to selfishly devour. I'm not one of those mothers who is completely career-driven. Never have been. But I would say that I often like change. I like to spice things up in all aspects of life and as my husband will tell you, it's never dull around here…lol. I am feeling a bit of a tug for change. I'm not sure what that means or where I will go from here, but I do know that it's stirring in me. My heart feels as though it needs to be set free. This happens to me often. Time to alter things a bit. Time to slow down the colliding days and start to live them more. I think that this is a common wish for mothers. We all want to slow down time to be with our babies. 

 Meals have been another challenge. I can tell you that the one thing I do not enjoy, is cooking. I keep hoping that someday that will change. However, I'm doubtful that this will really happen permanently. I go through stages where I find myself making a few great recipes and starting to feel like I get the hang of dinner-making, just to find myself over the phase by week's end. But having a family means feeding a family, too. I need to start meal planning. I plan to try and document this journey here as well. I'm sure you can appreciate a good meal plan from a wife and mother who truly doesn't have the time to cook. 

And so, not knowing how or when I will make my change, I continue on my routine of morning preperations, bringing Scarlett to school, working and then coming home to prepare for it all over again.  I'm doing the very best that I can. Which usually means making the most of the weekends and struggling to get everything done in the evenings. I'm okay with this, because I know that this is only temporary. Change is coming.