Our Newest Journey.

 

In early September, I wrote this blog post in regards to my confusion and frustration about….well, everything and nothing at the very same time. As confused as I felt, at the time I couldn't figure out why on earth I was so unsettled. Looking back, it all makes sense. I guess you could say that my hormones were a little…er…off.

I didn't know at the time, but I was about to embark on my next journey. Creating our second child.

yes, we are expecting baby number 2.

You know those women who LOVE to be pregnant? The ones that just glow and seem to be in amazing spirits the entire time? The ones who express how in love with every moment they are? Well…I am not one of those women. I wish I was. Of course, there are things that I love about creating a life. I just don't enjoy any of it throughout the first trimester. I enjoy moments from the second trimester. Similar to my pregnancy with Scarlett, I was brutally sick in the beginning. With Scarlett, it was morning, afternoon and evening sickness. I was sick to the point that I lost weight into almost the second trimester. This time, I was still very sick but in different ways. I was exhausted 24/7  and the worst part, and the part I didn't experience with my first pregnancy, was how unbalanced I felt emotionally. It definitely threw me for a loop and I think that Ty and I would both agree that it was a really difficult time for us both.  To feel completely sick for months straight is enough to make anyone feel out of sorts. On top of that, Ty's work went on overload and I felt like a single mother for a month or so. I barely made it through work days. After, I would pick up my 3 year old and do my best to feed her a healthy meal before falling onto the couch and hoping that Scarlett would keep herself entertained for a while so I could just do nothing. So many days I don't know how I managed to make it through the day. Although my pregnancy with Scarlett was no walk in the park in the beginning, I have to say, this second time around was even harder.

It was a challenge that seems like a blur now. It brought me to my knees, literally, with sickness. I feel like I became this hermit who didn't want to do anything but sleep and be left alone. I longed for the light at the end of the tunnel. The day that I would wake up and not feel as though I had the worst hangover of my entire life! 

There were days that I didn't see Ty at all and nights where we went to bed angry and wondering what was going on with us. Nights that I felt very alone. There were also nights that Ty would come home after working a 15 hour day, clean the house and put Scarlett to bed because I couldn't even get up. Not everyone tells you how difficult the beginning of pregnancy can be. How much hormones can effect things. For us, this time around, they did. Our relationship went through something that I didn't see coming. As Ty's stressful workload had him consumed, my physical health and emotional state diminished for awhile.

But, here we are almost half way through this pregnancy and we are doing great! Ty and I have mended the mess that had unfolded. I'm no longer sick and although I still have days that I'm feeling tired, it's amazing to be able to have the urge to do the things that I love again. Ty isn't working insane hours anymore and we took a short, but much needed, date night that helped us to take a little exhale from the past 3 months. We've gotten to see our little one moving around through Ultrasound and it's given me that lift that've I've been needing for weeks. Knowing that all of the miserableness and trials were worth it….We are going to have another amazing little human being that Scarlett will call her sibling. She is over the moon with excitement!! I'm very much looking forward to watching Scarlett become a big sister.

I've read more than once, nothing worth it is easy…how true.
I guess in life, some of the biggest blessings start with hardships. You push through because that's all we can do and because most always, it will end in happiness.

We are so unexplainably excited to be expecting our second child in late spring. We feel like four will complete us and could not be happier to share with you all, our wonderful news!! Despite any of the hardships we've gone through lately, we are feeling extremely blessed and happy now. Happy that our marriage and love is strong enough to endure hard times and blessed to be given another child to love.