Chapter 38: In New York Part I

It was a strange thing to turn 38 this year. Inevitable but baffling how the years go by so quickly. Somehow I ended up spending the last 2 birthdays in New York.  We really had a great time back in the northeast. It was some work and some pleasure as we also tend to yearly Airbnb/rental things when we go back periodically. Most of our visit was fun and enjoyment. We got to visit with my dad and step mother, which was a blessing. We don't see them often. 

I was thinking back to where I was just 2 years ago...or 5 years ago. It's just crazy to me how much can be accomplished if you really just DO it.  I posted recently on my social media about how 2 years ago life was extremely hard. One of the hardest years that I recall in a very long time. It was "the year" that I always talk about- Ha. But if you are new around here...it was the one where Ty was living across the country and I was raising the 3 kiddos (Vera an infant who didn't sleep) while homeschooling/virtual teaching them during a pandemic, working full time for real estate AND opening the new gym. It was without a doubt the job of 5 people and I was doing it with a smile, albeit a fake one. There were many days crying in the closet after the kids went to bed. I'm not really a person who cries much. My emotions come out in other ways. That year, I cried. A few times at that. 

It was rough on our marriage, our parenting, our health...you name it. Why am I talking about 36 when this post is about 38? Because 36 built me. 36 brought me to 38. You never really know how strong you are. Here is my post from when I turned 36: here. I feel that I was quite modest in my writing on how things truly were in that moment. I hate to come off as a complainer or a negative person, so often I just try and make it out to be okay, even if it isn't. 

But here we are now at 38. Just 2 short years later. Wow. 

I am now in a completely different place. I've already written about that on a past post as well. So I won't bore all with the "I'm in such a great place" now details, lol, but I will say: I earned this. I truly and utterly earned every single happy day that I wake up and get the freedom to run our own business and have the free time to work out or spend with the kids doing shopping trips or lunch dates. I earned the fact that we can take 3 weeks vacation a couple times a year and not blink an eye. Or that I can have the beautiful in-between of "working mom" and still sometimes, "at home" mom. I just FEEL healthier and happier. I feel the best I've felt...well, ever, if I'm being honest. 

Now, please don't read this and think that everything is always perfect over here. That will never be a reality. Life will continue to have it's ups and downs, it's good moments and it's hard ones. I'm talking more about the progression of where I've been, where I came from...to where I am now. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, put in some hard work for a 1-2 years. Be consistent with what you do. You will be amazed at where you can be in a year or two. Now, granted I love that I am in a better place than the bottom lol, and I probably wouldn't want to ever do it again. But I'm NOT anywhere close to being done. I'm already working on the next thing. I'm already planning more. I don't often talk too too much about the details of things until they are here but that is what my focus and energy is on these days. Keeping the things I do have healthy and happy, while building new ways to be more efficient so I can take on more and build bigger. Still working on that but I am determined!

Last year, Chapter 37 was about learning to adjust to a different style of life and slowly figuring out that this lull and anxiety that came about, was actually just free time lol...I could breathe for the first time in a long time. I enjoyed my baby, Vera, growing and I learned a lot about the fitness industry. Man, hiring in this day in age was so treacherous. Each failure truly taught me something- and continues to. Whether it be about people or myself. So I am loving these new moments that give me knowledge and growth. Sometimes they definitely suck. But once you get over that hill, you see it all so much clearer and suddenly it's been a blessing in mysterious ways. We are over that hill in so many aspects and yet have much more to overcome. In both work and life. 

One of my favorite sayings, "I've come a long way, but I'm not done".  I feel ready to take on "next". And while my next goal is to keep on going in the direction we are, I also want to do something bigger. I want to help others. However I can. Whether it's knowledge or experience, or something bigger. I want to help someone other than us.  I feel like we are always in a position to help others with kindness....but when you are struggling to stay afloat yourself, it's a lot harder to help anyone else in more significant ways. But I'm ready to help others now. So that is my next goal for chapter 38. By 39, I want to have added 2 more businesses (which half of that already happened here 2 months after I turned 38- Gym #2 is here!!) and help some people along the way. I want to have built our dream home and taken 2 long-awaited and postponed vacations. I also want to feel that I spent the last 2 years really living and enjoying each small moment. Dipping into the fibers of what makes life, life. For me, it's those small moments that you just catch yourself in....

Watching the kids laugh and play. Creating a fun dinner spread, letting the kids help to set the table. The smell of a freshly mowed lawn. Opening the windows to let the breeze in for the first time since the summer heat wave stopped. The way the house feels when it's clean and a good candle burns alongside you. Planning out vacation details. Sitting down to plan everything holiday related! Sitting in a tub with a glass of wine. Getting to workout and feel my body improve and build. Sitting outside at night writing some words in the dark. Just glancing over at Ty and catching that feeling you had when you I first met him. Early morning walks paying attention to all the sounds and smells. Sitting on the front steps watching Ty wash the cars with the kiddos, sipping something good. Driving in the car down a back road with the top down and some good tunes playing. Playing some silly board games on a weekend "family night".  Packing the kiddos lunches with special touches to make them smile.  Sitting in bed on a Tuesday night watching the one show that Ty and I both like to watch together, ha ha. Seeing members at the gym take the first step towards a healthy life. Coffee on the back porch in silence before the kids wake up. Organizing my house for no particular reason other than the fact that I love organization. Oh the list goes on! 

It's those things that make it all worth being here. 37....you were good to me. Here comes the pages for Chapter 38.